How to Write an Obituary: Step-by-Step Guide

Sep 12, 2026 · 7 min read

An obituary is a short published tribute announcing someone's death, typically 200–400 words for print and longer online, that covers their life story, surviving family, and service details. Newspaper placement typically ranges from under $100 to $800 or more for a basic notice, while online obituaries are usually far cheaper. Below is a complete, step-by-step template you can start using today. I'm not going to sugarcoat this — write an obituary is one of the hardest writing tasks you'll ever face.

You're grieving. You're exhausted. And somehow, you're also supposed to summarize someone's entire life in a few hundred words.

Here's the good news: you don't need to be a professional writer to do this well. You just need a clear structure, a little patience, and a few real examples to guide you. If you've ever had to draft a formal document under pressure, you already know the feeling — the structure matters just as much as the words.

Let's get into it.

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What Is an Obituary, Exactly?

Quick gut-check before we dive in: an obituary is a published notice announcing someone's death — usually in a newspaper, on a funeral home website, or on social media.

But here's the thing. A great obituary is more than an announcement.

It's a tribute. It's a life summary. It's often the first thing people read when they search for someone's name years later. So, naturally, it matters more than most people realize.

Obituary vs. Eulogy — What's the Difference?

You've probably heard both terms used interchangeably. They're not the same thing.

An obituary is written and published. A eulogy is a spoken tribute delivered at a funeral or memorial service. Think of the obituary as the public record, and the eulogy as the personal goodbye.

Obituary Formats Compared: Newspaper vs. Online vs. Social Media

Before you write anything, it helps to know your options. Each format has a different cost, reach, and permanence — and honestly, a lot of families use more than one.

Format

Typical Cost (2026)

Typical Length

Reach & Permanence

Newspaper (local)

$60–$400

150–300 words

Local; archived, often paywalled

Newspaper (major metro)

$1,000–$1,500 for a regular obituary, and even higher in New York

150–300 words

Wide; permanent print archive

Online-only / memorial site

$50–$100, with some funeral homes offering it free

Unlimited

Global; searchable indefinitely

Social media

Free

Unlimited

Immediate; not permanent or archival

A common money-saving strategy families use: place a short, clear death notice in print so the community is informed, then publish the fuller story online where it's cheaper and searchable long-term.

Step 1: Gather the Essential Facts First

Before you write a single sentence, collect the basics. This step alone will save you hours of backtracking later.

You'll want:

  • Full legal name (plus any nicknames)

  • Date and place of birth

  • Date and place of death

  • Names of surviving family members

  • Names of predeceased family members

  • Education and career highlights

  • Military service, if applicable

  • Hobbies, passions, and personal achievements

I know it feels clinical to reduce a life to bullet points. But trust me — having this biographical information organized up front makes the actual writing so much easier. It's a lot like pulling together the right details before writing a strong letter of recommendation — the facts have to be accurate before the tone can feel right.

Step 2: Start With a Strong Opening Line

Here's where most people get stuck.

You don't need anything fancy. Just state the facts plainly, then let the tone soften from there.

A solid opening usually includes:

  1. Full name

  2. Age

  3. City of residence

  4. Date of passing

Something like: "John Michael Smith, 74, of Denver, Colorado, passed away peacefully on March 3, 2026."

Simple. Respectful. Clear.

Should You Mention Cause of Death?

This one's genuinely up to you and your family. Some families choose to include it, especially for memorial fundraising purposes (directing donations to a specific cause). Others prefer to keep it private. There's no "correct" answer here.

Step 3: Tell the Story of Their Life

This is where the obituary actually becomes a tribute instead of a form.

Walk through their life chronologically, but don't just list dates. Add texture. What did they love? What made them laugh? What will people miss most?

Cover things like:

  • Where they grew up

  • Their career accomplishments

  • Their role as a parent, spouse, or friend

  • Community involvement or volunteer work

  • Hobbies and passions that defined them

If they were known for something specific — gardening, coaching Little League, baking pies for the whole neighborhood — say so. Those tiny details are what people actually remember.

Step 4: List Surviving and Predeceased Family Members

This part is formulaic, and honestly, that's okay. Readers expect it.

Structure it like this:

Survived by: spouse, children (with spouses), grandchildren, siblings.

Preceded in death by: parents, spouse (if applicable), siblings.

Keep the language consistent and don't stress over making it "creative." Some sections of an obituary are meant to be straightforward.

Step 5: Add Service and Memorial Details

Now's the time to include the practical logistics:

  • Date, time, and location of the funeral service or celebration of life

  • Visitation or wake details

  • Burial or cremation information

  • Where to send flowers or memorial donations

If donations are involved, link directly to the organization when publishing online — it makes it dramatically easier for people to actually follow through.

Step 6: Close With a Meaningful Final Line

End on warmth, not logistics.

Something like: "He will be deeply missed by all who knew him, and remembered for his kindness, humor, and unwavering love for his family."

This is your chance to leave readers with a feeling, not just information.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Let's run through a few things I see all the time:

  • Making it too long. Print obituaries are billed per line or per inch, not per word, so many newspapers charge based on the physical space text occupies — a longer piece costs real money.

  • Skipping the proofread. Names and dates need to be exact. Have a second family member check it.

  • Forgetting the tone. An obituary for a beloved grandmother probably shouldn't read like a corporate press release.

  • Overusing clichés. Phrases like "gained his wings" are fine in moderation — just don't lean on them for the entire piece.

A Simple Obituary Template You Can Use

If you want a fast starting point, here's a bare-bones structure:

[Full Name], [age], of [city], passed away on [date]. Born on [birth date] in [birthplace], [he/she/they] was the [child/spouse/parent] of [names]. [He/She/They] is remembered for [key traits/achievements]. [He/She/They] is survived by [family members] and preceded in death by [family members]. A [funeral/memorial service] will be held on [date] at [location]. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [organization].

Fill in the blanks, then personalize the middle section with real stories and details.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should an obituary be?

Most print obituaries run 150–400 words, since newspapers charge by the line. Online obituaries and memorial pages have no length limit, so many families write a short print version and a longer, fuller one online.

How much does it cost to publish an obituary?

It varies a lot by location and length. Costs range from roughly $100 in small towns to over $1,500 for premium national publications, while online obituaries typically run $50–$100 and are sometimes free.

Do you need permission to publish someone's obituary?

Generally, the immediate family or the person handling the estate arranges publication. Funeral homes can usually help coordinate this and often submit it to the newspaper on your behalf.

Can you write your own obituary in advance?

Yes — this is increasingly common and can actually take pressure off your family later. Many people draft one alongside their broader estate and funeral planning.

Is it cheaper to publish online instead of in a newspaper?

Usually, yes. Many families save money by placing a short print notice and publishing the full tribute online, since online length isn't billed like print space.

Final Thoughts

Writing an obituary isn't about perfect prose. It's about honoring a life honestly and clearly, in a way that gives family and friends something meaningful to hold onto.

Take your time. Ask other family members for input. And remember — there's no single "right" way to do this, only the way that feels true to the person you're remembering.

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